There have been half a dozen blog posts composed in my head over the past ten days, but now that I have some time to sit and write one out on the computer, the words are not flowing. So rather than write about any of those things that have floated through my mind recently, I'm going to share what is on my heart right now. Time, and the lack of it, and how fast it goes by, and how in the heck to slow it down!!
I have learned in recent weeks that most of society is in financial debt...be it student loans, credit cards, auto loans, the list goes on. I feel very fortunate that Doug and I are not in this boat; we do have a mortgage, and one small truck payment that will be done later this year, but other than that we don't carry long-term debt. What a blessing! I feel for those drowning in financial debt, especially those student loans...those sound awful, with high interest rates and how difficult it can be to find a well-paying job that puts the degree to use (if one even managed to finish school, seems a lot of people never finish because they can't take on more debt so then they have those loans to pay off but no degree to help get a great job!). But while we are not in debt financially, we are definitely feeling the time debt these days.
Time Debt. Perhaps a new phrase for you to contemplate. As a girl who lives primarily in the present moment, getting things done now and not worrying too terribly much about what needs to get done later, being in time debt is something I've been in denial about for a long time (no pun intended!!). But the truth is, my time management stinks, and has for several years now. I often use the working mother thing as an excuse, but really, it's more that I have a tendency to take on more than I can honestly handle, therefore mucking up my time management and causing me to forget things and ending up feeling so overwhelmed by what needs to be done that I can't actually get anything done! Know the feeling? But it's so hard to not commit to things that I know I can do, and do well, and help others along the way! My true passion is to help people realize their best selves, to promote positivity, to encourage self-confidence, to get others to see past the petty things in life that hold so many hostage from so much. We are so often so consumed with all the "things" that we allow life to pass us by even more quickly, and we miss out on so much along the way. And I strive to not be this way, but I fear that I wind up taking on too much and end up missing out even while trying to hard not to.
And that last sentence shows that my mind is so full of "things" right now, that I can't quite type the words fast enough! I have learned that some of what I take on is simply in my mind, things I can't not think about and can't get out of my head even though they don't need to be there. My quest to 'simplify' my life is about letting go of those thoughts just as much as letting go of material things around me. What good does it do me to hold grudges, retain bitterness, even to give a single moment of my day to a person or thing that most definitely doesn't give me any thought?! But as a girl who believes strongly in fairness and justice, my mind can quickly be overtaken by all the "wrongs" of the world around me. The people I've crossed paths with who take advantage or have entitlement; the people on the news who are entirely selfish but then get media coverage because of acting upon that selfishness; the actions of celebrities that prove they are actually some of the lowest people in society even though they are recognized as elite; the list really goes on and one, endlessly. The devil can be found spreading his negativity everywhere, and so often we give in to that without even realizing it. We forget that this world is only our temporary home, and the Lord has a great place of peace waiting for us in heaven; but He also has a lot of work for us believers to do on His behalf while we are living in this temporary place.
So I'm taking a stand, right here and right now. I'm laying to rest past bitternesses, I'm removing myself from situations that don't help me to be a better person, I'm going to use my time as if each day were the last one I had in this temporary home, because really...it could be. I hope not; I hope I have many many years to promote positivity and help others see the goodness of God, but I'm only guaranteed this one moment that I'm living this instant. I'm no longer going to allow the negative thoughts, the grudges, the badness around me to reside in my mind and take up my precious time.
Speaking of time, my kids are needing some of mine right now, so I'm going to go outside and play with them; I'm going to enjoy the sound of their laughter and the feel of the sun. I'm going to metaphorically dig a hole and bury the mental thoughts that no longer have a place in my life. I'm going to plant some flowers, put out some seeds for the birds, and use the bad stuff to fertilize the good stuff so that I can produce a garden of happiness for my little family, and hopefully for all those who cross my path from here on out.
If you are suffering from time debt, I encourage you to follow me on this path.
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